there's no penguins in alaska

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i went to the american dream tour on march 28th, and i caught aaron pauley's pick, recieved both bmth & om&m setlists and thats pretty much all that matters in life tbh

(Source: apcockulus, via interwebprincess)


I took my girlfriend to an improv show the other night and during intermission we were passionately arguing over whether half a 5 Hour Energy shot would give you 2.5 hours of energy or 5 hours of half-assed energy so we turned around to ask the opinions of the three people behind us and one of them said “Are all your arguments like this because we heard you in the lobby earlier fighting over the right way to pronounce ‘egg’?”

(via nighttimers)


i don’t ONLY care about myself. i care about like 5 other people. and animals.

(via wholetjackdrive)


"She’s really pretty for a black girl"


“He’s really cool for a gay guy”


“She’s doing really well for a woman”


(via dwaleful)